my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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