I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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