Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
