we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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