Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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