Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
