ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
