I like my sex mixed with concussions.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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