I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
