is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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