Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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