i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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