Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
