Ambien. No doubt about it.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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