one two three fourrrrnication!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
