Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
