No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
this beer tastes like vomit already
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Randomize
