I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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