i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
