kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
