ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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