says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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