so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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