Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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