Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
