From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize