You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
