Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
