You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Randomize
