A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I need moral support for this bender
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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