Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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