I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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