Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
