Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
