The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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