Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
