I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hippo gnu deer
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize