If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
