I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
