Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
