You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
