We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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