She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
