shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
