don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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