it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
