there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
