Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
