He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
