I'd wear matching sweaters with you
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
