Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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