Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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