It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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