You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
