i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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