i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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