I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
