After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
