walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
