i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
