why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
