It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize