Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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