It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
