I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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