So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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