shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We just shotgunned beers for America
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
